Having a Secret
It’s pretty easy to keep a secret from my family. I mean, you hardly even have to try. They’re all so self-involved that you can tell them the stupidest lies and they’ll believe you. This is a good thing, because it allows me to practise my telekinesis without them knowing.
Dad: What are you doing up in your room, Suzie?
Me: Homework
Dad: OK.
And sometimes you don’t even have to lie.
Mum: Why is your desk over the other side of your room?
Me: Because I moved it there. *Waggle eyebrows suggestively, make wizardy gesture* With the POWER of my MIND.
Mum: Very funny, Suzie. Empty the dishwasher.
JP: Is that a helium balloon?
Me: Yes, yes it is. (No, it isn’t.)
JP: Where did you get it?
Me: Tied to the gate. Maybe you’ll find one there too.
JP: Cool! *Skips off happily*
Pucker: Woof! Woof!
Me: You’re right, Pucker. It IS weird that your water bowl is flying to the sink.
Pucker: Woof! Woof!
Me: The tap doesn’t normally turn on by itself either. How peculiar!
Pucker: Woof! Woof!
Me: OK, OK. You got me. I’m doing it. But you can’t tell anyone.
Pucker: Woof! Woof!
Me: Thanks, Pucker. I love you too.
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