It’s pretty easy to keep a secret from my family. I mean, you hardly even have to try. They’re all so self-involved that you can tell them the stupidest lies and they’ll believe you. This is a good thing, because it allows me to practise my telekinesis without them knowing.

         Dad: What are you doing up in your room, Suzie?

         Me: Homework

         Dad: OK.

And sometimes you don’t even have to lie.

         Mum: Why is your desk over the other side of your room?

         Me: Because I moved it there. *Waggle eyebrows suggestively, make wizardy gesture* With the POWER of my MIND.

         Mum: Very funny, Suzie. Empty the dishwasher.

         JP: Is that a helium balloon?

         Me: Yes, yes it is. (No, it isn’t.)

         JP: Where did you get it?

         Me: Tied to the gate. Maybe you’ll find one there too.

         JP: Cool! *Skips off happily*

         Pucker: Woof! Woof!

         Me: You’re right, Pucker. It IS weird that your water bowl is flying to the sink.

         Pucker: Woof! Woof!

         Me: The tap doesn’t normally turn on by itself either. How peculiar!

         Pucker: Woof! Woof!

         Me: OK, OK. You got me. I’m doing it. But you can’t tell anyone.

         Pucker: Woof! Woof!

         Me: Thanks, Pucker. I love you too.